Winning Ex Back

Couples split up for all sorts of reasons but don’t you think that it takes two to tango? Yes, your partner may have had an affair or maybe a drinking problem, but at the end of the day it is usually too simple to lay the blame for the break up at one person’s feet. When a relationship ends it should be final unless both of you decide that you wish to get back together. Otherwise, move on. Don’t waste your time or energy trying to think of ways to get back at them.

Every man or woman over the age of 21 has been dumped at some point in their lives. If they say they haven’t, they are very lucky or they probably might be lying. Breaking up can be extremely painful, you only have to see how many films and songs are written on the subject. Even classic books involve painful relationships.

Life is too short to live it out with a grudge against someone else. The only person that will suffer will be you and those that love you. Your ex will be long gone, do you really think that they give you more than a fleeting thought. They didn’t care enough about you to stay together so why would they care now?

There are plenty of lovely people for you to date and perhaps fall in love with. But you will never find a fulfilling new relationship if your life is consumed by hatred for someone else. Being on your own for the first time in a long time can be tough but it can also be liberating. Think positively, you now have the chance to do all the things you wanted to do but your partner wasn’t interested in.

Make a list of twenty things you have to be thankful for and read this every night before you fall asleep. Add five things to your list every day and you will soon find yourself enjoying life so much that you won’t have time to worry about how to get back at your ex anymore. It will be more like ex who?

If you were the one to blame for the breakup then you should apologize. We should always treat others as we would like to be treated but sometimes we can treat our neighbors better than our partners. Having someone special in our lives can mean that we take them for granted and expect them to put up with our black moods, PMS or other human failings.

So, if you say you sorry mean it. Don’t just say it to get your ex back but mean it regardless of what the future holds for you. Arrange a meeting with your ex to discuss what went wrong and see if you do have a future together. You should agree some basic ground rules or else you run the risk of it turning into a blame fest.

The first rule is that both of you should be there because you want to be not because you are being emotionally blackmailed. This is particularly true if you have kids together as one partner can often put pressure on the other to stay together for the sake of the children. Believe me, most kids would prefer to have two different families than to witness two people tearing each other apart.

The second rule should be that you are not getting together to have an argument – if either party gets abusive then the meeting is over. You are there to have a discussion about your relationship and see if you would both like to take it forward. It may be helpful to set a time limit for each person to talk about how they are feeling. When they are talking the other person should be listening.

This is a time for you both to express what you like about each other and what parts of your life together could do with a little work. Perhaps you never get to spend time alone together so an idea may be that you have a date night once a week or a fortnight. This is a night where it is just the two of you and all talk of kids, mortgage, debts etc is banned. This would be your time as a couple to try to relight the forces of attraction that brought you together in the first place.

You will probably find that both of you are finding the same issues difficult. You both probably miss spending quality time together and you may both be under financial and emotional pressure. Sometimes life gets in the way and we often expect our partners to become mind readers and be able to see a problem without us saying anything. We don’t tend to make time in our lives to really talk to our spouse. It is never too late to start.

Now when you are asked how to go get an ex back, you will be able to say that communication and quality time together are the keys to lifelong happiness.

When you think you cannot live without her and you feel like your life is incomplete you may have a challenge on your hands. If you think you might want to get back with ex girlfriend, you need to make sure it’s worth it.

What was the reason for the break up in the first place? If it was your fault then look closely at what it was that you did. Was it due to your selfishness? This is something that might be hard to do. Look at the actions you took. Were they the results of a self-centered person? If so, then what has changed? What makes you so sure that you are done being self-centered? Is this desire to get back with ex girlfriend a result of self-centered thinking?

Before you try to get back with your ex girlfriend, you need to make sure that it is a mutually beneficial relationship or it has very little chance of succeeding. If it is just something to try and fill a void in your life and heart then it may not be the best for them. You may have to live with the consequences of your selfish actions. Don’t expect to get taken back with open arms. You just have to know that if it isn’t good for both of you, it might not have good or positive results.

If the reason that you broke up has more to do with her selfish actions, then why do you think that she has changed or will change? Look closely at her actions. If there is genuine remorse and a willingness to change, you might have a chance. You need to ask “is she just going to do this again?” If she has a pattern of acting out of selfishness in a way that is harmful to your relationship and to you then you probably don’t. If you have significant reason to believe that what she did isn’t going to repeat itself then maybe you should get back with ex girlfriend. You have to see that she is done looking out for only her self-interest and is more interested in something that is good for the both of you.

In either situation, whether it was because of your selfishness or hers, or even both, you need to fully believe that the both of you can act in the best interest of each other. You cannot expect this relationship to go far if either one of you is self-absorbed. If you truly believe that you both are done being self-centered and can really be focused on the relationship it may be a good thing to get back together with ex.