Winning Ex Back

It is very well documented that most of the relationships that break up could very easily be put back together again, if only one of those involved actually tried. So please try!

There are some basic steps that you can take when you’re looking into how to get lover back, you simply have to make sure that you get the details of these steps correct and that you spend a sufficient amount of time going through each step. How much time, varies from situation to situation and the real truth is that only you can judge the time that you think you might need.

If the relationship was a tumultuous up and down messy emotional one, then it is going to need a longer time to get over the initial mess of the break up. Longer than if your relationship was stable and less exacting. So be honest with yourself and be clear about what kind of relationship you had with your ex, because the truth right here will go a long way to helping you figure out how to get lover back.

A clue is that most people need at least a month on their own without contact with their ex to start the healing process. Don’t try and bypass this alone time because without it most attempts at how to get lover back fail.

You are going to spend your alone time looking at the mistakes that you might have made and you are going to forgive yourself for those mistakes. If you try and get back with your ex and you have not forgive yourself, then how is it possible for your ex to fully forgive you. So be kind to yourself, accept your fallibility and forgive yourself.

That doesn’t mean that you just draw a line under any mistakes that you may have made and forget about them. It means that you should then go on to figuring out how you can avoid such mistakes in the future, if the same or similar situations arise. Because you really do not want to get into a cycle of the same old things that keep on happening.

Once you’re confident that you have the emotions and the reasons behind your mistakes sorted out, you are then ready to go ahead and actually make contact with your ex and ask to talk to them.

Some people do better when they are together constantly, and others crave more of their own space in a relationship, so how much space in a relationship is necessary? The answer depends a lot on the type of relationship it is, and each person in it, the hard part is finding a happy medium that both people are comfortable with, this is made more difficult when you each have very different ideas about togetherness and space, but as long as you can compromise on the level of space in a relationship that you both need, then you can work through this challenge.

Some people don’t like to be alone. They are much happier spending all their time with coworkers, friends, family and their partner. When they are alone and doing things on their own they feel a little lost and lonely. Other people cherish their alone time. Without a little solitude every day they feel burdened and have a hard time relaxing. They feel that they always have to be “up” or “on” for other people when they’re around them, and it can be exhausting.

Those are two extremes, of course. There are also a lot of people who fall somewhere in the middle. They love the time they spend with their partner, but they also want some me-time to balance it out and recharge. If both of you fall into that happy medium, then defining your space in a relationship should be pretty easy. And if you each fall into the same extreme group, where you both need lots of space or you both dislike being alone, things are made easier, too.

The problems come when one has a very different idea than the other. If you love your solitude and your partner hates being alone, you really need to talk and set some boundaries. Each need to understand the other’s point of view so you can come up with a compromise that makes you both feel your needs are met. If you love being alone each day for a while and your partner craves company 24/7, here’s the problem. When you say you need space in a relationship and go off on your own, your partner will feel neglected as if you don’t want to be around because of them.

And if you hate being alone and your partner really wants some me-time, then by hanging around constantly you can start to make your partner feel smothered. Your partner might also think that there’s no trust there, and you won’t give him or her private time because you’re afraid of what he or she might do when you’re not around.

You can see how both of these situations could quickly cause problems in a relationship. But if you talk to each other honestly and openly about how you feel, then when you need time your partner will understand why. And when he or she hangs around when you’d rather be alone, you recognize that he or she doesn’t need the same kind of space in a relationship that you do.

The best relationships experts just know how to communicate. They can take those common sense things and say them in a way that makes you “get it.” Like the concept of what to expect and what to give in a relationship. This is one of the best lessons you can get from relationships experts.

Very often we go along in a relationship and as time goes on we start to take the other person for granted a little bit. We don’t thank them as much, and sometimes we don’t do nice things in return for them quite as much. It’s not that we don’t want to, but that we simply forget or think there will be time later. After the relationship hit a rocky period and ended and you’ve gotten back together, remember to be thoughtful and kind becomes very important. Relationships experts stress that as a good way to keep a relationship strong.

A second great lesson from the experts is to do what the other person will appreciate. This is another great common sense lesson that’s all too easy to overlook. It applies to anytime during a relationship but after you’ve gotten back together from a break up or other bad patch it’s even more important.

To do what the other person wants doesn’t mean you should never consider yourself. But you should try to do what appeals to them to show them that you care. If it really makes you happy when your boyfriend helps you wash the dishes, then maybe if you helped him with some housework that would make him feel loved, too.

But there may be ways he likes to feel loved that are different. He might be the type of person who likes to hear you say it often, or likes romantic gestures. Even if those things aren’t as important to you, you need to do the things that are special to him. Sometimes we forget that, or we just assume that everyone responds to the same things. But doing what makes the other person feel most special is easy to do, as long as we remind ourselves to do it.

And a lesson that the experts teach that often goes forgotten is respect. Of course, you respect your boyfriend or girlfriend, but does it always show? This is part of taking them for granted but goes beyond not thanking them or returning loving gestures.

Often, the person we’re closest to gets the brunt our worst days. We might be late for something and keep them waiting, or we might just accidentally be inconsiderate and not apologize enough. Take a lesson from the relationships experts and ask yourself if you treat your partner with the same respect you would treat a parent or co-worker.