Winning Ex Back

How to Recognize It

Emotional infidelity is almost always the first step on the road to cheating, and may well be considered cheating its own right. There is far more to a relationship than just have a physical relationship with only one person and one person only. The truly satisfying and meaningful part of a relationship is the bond you share with the other person.

The emotional connection is a deep and integral part of a relationship, which is what makes emotional infidelity so devastating. The true bond in a relationship goes far beyond just physical fidelity; it’s a large part of what makes a relationship a relationship. A relationship is about sharing your thoughts, feeling and soul with another.

Emotional infidelity is when your significant other begins to form those same kinds of bonds with another person. This almost always goes along with withdrawing from the original relationship. You go from being your significant other’s friend and confidant to being a stranger in your own relationship. This freezing out can be difficult to deal with, and may be hard to see. You may feel that the problem is on your end and that you are the one doing something wrong.

At the same time, it involves the other person forming bonds with another person outside the marriage. One of the terrible things about it is that it can be difficult to define and identify. Because there is nothing as obvious as sleeping with another person going on, saying for certain that it is going on is trickier to prove.

One big sign is a sexual chemistry between the two people, flirting and teasing each other. It may seem innocent because there is nothing physical going on, but emotional infidelity will cause the person to behave differently. This is a key point that you need to keep in mind when you suspect emotional infidelity. Everybody has friends; men have their best buddies, women have their girlfriends. Many people have close friends of the opposite sex, people with whom they confide much of their lives.

This isn’t emotional infidelity, and the big thing to look for is signs of guilt. The big sign that someone is becoming involved with someone else on an emotional level is the fact that your significant other feels compelled to hide it. No one hides their relationships with just friends from their significant others. When they’re hiding something, it means there is something to hide.

Emotional infidelity is a problem in and of itself, but it tends to be one of the early signs of a relationship going bad. The next step is usually physical infidelity, and this is almost always preceded by emotional infidelity. If you can recognize and do something about emotional infidelity, you may have an easier time than if you catch it at a later stage.

The two big signs are emotional disengagement and secretive behavior. If your significant other is pulling away from you, becoming distance or hostile, this is a big sign. Likewise, if they are acting suspiciously, hiding phone calls and emails, avoiding questions and just generally acting like they have a secret, this is a sign.

You need to catch emotional infidelity in its early stages and fix it. This can be tough to do, but if you suspect emotional infidelity in your relationship, then you need to seek out an advice and instruction on how to fix your relationship.

Understanding Them Makes a Difference

If you understand the different stages of a relationship it can help you understand where you are and what’s yet to come.

Of all the stages of a relationship, the first stage is probably the most exciting. This is the romance stage, the beginning. There’s dating and getting to know each other, and each of you is on your very best behavior because you want to woo the other person.

This stage is often called the honeymoon period, because everything is fresh and new. Everything the other person does probably seems wonderful. You laugh at his jokes, and don’t mind the person’s flaws. In fact, you may even find his flaws endearing. Just like anything new, it can be a great deal of fun and seem adventurous.

The next two stages are the make or break stages that many couples never make it through. They account for things like very short relationships and marriages. The second stage is commonly known as the power struggle stage.

This is when the newness starts to wear off, and usually starts somewhere between six months to a year after the relationships starts. It’s during this time that things start to get serious. Everything isn’t as cute and endearing as it was in the beginning.

Each person in the relationship is trying to get his or her needs met, and they’re starting to notice where the other person falls short in doing that. If you’re in this stage, take a step back. The things you’re finding fault with in the other person are probably flaws that you have also.

If a couple can get through this stage, the relationship has a much better chance of lasting. Unfortunately, many couples try to change each other in the second stage. This leads to break-ups. Honest communication is the key to getting past it. Be understanding, and realize that you have shortcomings, too.

The third of the stages of a relationship is where you realize that you can’t change the other person, and you stop trying. If you came to that realization by talking with your partner and being understanding, then congratulations are in order!

This stage for you will be one of learning to be content with what the other has to offer and learning to take care of yourself. If the power struggle ended badly, then this is the stage where you’re likely to end the relationship.

The next stage is that of commitment. You realized you couldn’t change each other but you still made it work, and you know you want to be together. Now you can move on to a true partnership, which is the last stage.

Many couples bounce from stage 2 to 3 several times before moving on to commitment. By understanding the stages of a relationship, you’re at least aware of what’s happening and why.

Making mistakes in relationships means you have to fix them and apologize for those mistakes before there can be any making up.

When you decide you want to get back with ex, you must be ready to face not only what has gone wrong with the relationship, but also your part in the break down of the relationship. If you made mistakes then don’t beat yourself up for that. We all make them, it’s what you do after the mistake that’s important.

So sit down on your own and take some time to go through what happened and what were the issues that led up to what happened. Don’t concern yourself too much with what you see as your ex’s mistakes, leave that for the future. Only concern yourself right now with what you can influence.

Whatever mistakes you find in your past behavior, can they be forgiven? Don’t be too eager to get down on yourself and believe that your mistakes are basically unforgivable. You would be surprised at the situations that couples find themselves in and that they later recover from. So don’t think that your mistakes are beyond forgiveness. There is always hope!

Try and pin point what was happening in your life at the time that led you to make the mistakes, especially if it was completely out of character for you. Remember what I said about facing hard truths, if you want to get back with ex, then you need to do this.

You might discover that you were under certain stresses and strains. Perhaps you were under threat at your job? Or you weren’t physically feeling yourself? Or perhaps there were other family issues. Whatever you find when you look back at what happened, you will eventually need to sit down with your ex and explain in detail just what you have found.

If your mistakes were the result of you just being thoughtless or selfish, then this is something about you and your character that can quite easily be fixed. It will take ongoing monitoring but if you are sincerely committed to get back with ex, then it is going to be worthwhile.

When you have come to the point where you have begun to gain perspective about your mistakes, then call your ex and arrange to meet. It is usually better to arrange a face to face meeting somewhere public and neutral because then there is less chance of either of you becoming emotional.

So, make sure that you stay calm and focused on what you want to say. Apologize and ask for forgiveness and then listen carefully to what your ex has to say.

If you’re the relationships wife, you know you’re not in an easy position. You might feel put upon, as if everything from the home to some of the income is your responsibility. For years men worked while the wife took care of hearth and home. Today’s relationships wife is supposed to work and do it all with a smile on her face!

But you can’t do it all, and you can’t have it all. At least you can’t without personal sacrifice and exhaustion. Add saving your relationship and preserving your marriage into the mix, and it’s a sure recipe for fatigue and depression.

When things have gone wrong in your relationship, you should remember that you’re not solely responsible for fixing them. He plays a part, too, and you should let him do equal duty or at least some of it. Everything that happens, good or bad, is not only because of the relationships wife.

And if you’re the husband and the idea of keeping her happy seems daunting, you must remember that you’re not solely responsible for her happiness either. You can contribute to it, and it’s pretty easy for you to ruin it, but whether or not she’s a happy person in general is mainly up to her.

It’s important for the relationships wife to understand that men and women have different needs. This is important for the husband to realize, too. When you’re trying to heal your marriage, it might be a good idea for both of you to read books that talk about the differences between men and women.

John Gray’s books about Mars and Venus are good for pointing out the very different ways men and women feel nurtured in a relationship. They also point out how differently men view emotional things than women, and how each sometimes has an approach that’s directly opposite of what the other person may want.

Even if you feel like you share things equally and have a very balanced relationship, you might discover that it’s not. The relationships wife will tend to fall into certain roles, just as the husband does. Reading books about these differences can be an eye opening experience.

Even if your spouse isn’t interested in reading such books, you should give them a try. It’s not easy to heal a relationship when only one person seems to do all the work. But if you make an effort, very often it makes such a difference that the other person can’t help but change either.

It can be an unconscious thing, in fact. By learning the best way to approach your spouse about certain issues, or understanding the way he or she naturally deals with things, it makes you a more thoughtful and respectful partner.

That alone is enough to affect the other person’s behavior and make things better. You shouldn’t have to do everything, but this is one thing you must take upon yourself. Whether you’re the relationships wife or the husband, you’re capable of helping heal the relationship.