The struggles continue but there are some things you should think about to see if saving a relationship like the one you are in is worth the challenge, if you are thinking about getting a divorce or separating, you need to look at these things honestly and maybe get some serious relationship advice, saving a relationship is an important thing to try and accomplish and will take a lot of work.

Write a list of the people you most enjoy spending time with, is your spouse or partner on that list? Do you really enjoy spending time together? When was the last time you went out and just had fun? Is it possible for the two of you to do that? Are you content just being with them? A good relationship between two people is going to be one where they can enjoy being together or can feel content just having the person there.

Another very important thing to consider when you are deciding if this relationship is worth saving is do they make you feel like you are understood, do you listen to your spouse? Do you feel like you are being listened to and that they understand you? Spend some time and try to see if they do.

A relationship is supposed to be a place where you can go when you need comforted, is the relationship one that makes you feel comfort when you have gone through something bad? Is the relationship something that you constantly need comforted about? If you are looking elsewhere for comfort, there may be a problem.

If there are questions about faithfulness or infidelity, they need to be addressed, are you able to trust them? Are they able to trust you? If you have a problem answering either one of those questions affirmatively, then you may either need some serious marriage counseling or couple’s therapy.

In saving a relationship, there are many other things to consider and a decision like this should not be taken lightly, ask hard questions and search hard for answers and then you may be able to find if saving a relationship like the one you are in is worth it.

First, you have to decide whether the relationship is worth saving, while almost every relationship can be saved with hard work, both parties must decide that they want to make it work, because if a partner has opted out and doesn’t want to opt back in, there is little that can be done.

Most people stay in a relationship because it is convenient or remain in a marriage because of the children, but that is not enough because when the children grow up they move on to make their own lives, to save a relationship both parties need to understand that the relationship is worth saving.

Next, you must pinpoint the problem or problems in a relationship, one of the biggest problems in how to save a relationship is that people believe the symptoms of the problem are the problem itself, for instance, most people think an affair is a problem that causes break ups, in truth, the affair is a symptom of a deeper problem, for instance, a lack of true intimacy can lead to a straying spouse.

While most people look at the affair as the problem, the underlying cause of the affair was the lack of intimacy in the primary relationship, if you do not deal with the lack of intimacy, you might be able to keep another affair from starting through the use of guilt, but another problem could pop up because you haven’t dealt with the core issue, when you start to deal with core issues rather than symptoms, you can save the relationship,

Once you have identified the core problems, you can begin to share your thoughts, this means both verbalizing your own feelings and listening to your partner’s concerns, hold your partner’s hand when you are talking about your problems as a signal that you want to reconnect even when your emotions are swirling, when your partner talks about things that hurt you remember that he or she is not doing it because he or she wants to hurt you, rather it is because they want to improve the relationship.

Once you have detailed the problems in your relationship, create an action plan to solve them, then take concrete steps on your action plan, if you don’t spend time together like you used to, plan a date night every week, take turns coming up with creative ways to spend an evening together each Saturday, if not communicating is the problem, commit to spending 20 minutes before going to bed just talking to one another, and then do it.

You should realize that saving a relationship is an ongoing process, you are going to take two steps forward only to take one step back, there is going to be both laughter and tears going forward, be quick to apologize and slow to blame.

Is your relationship worth saving? If so, I have described in this post some tips on how to save relationship.